December 3, 2019

Why Men Don’t Report Sexual Abuse – And Why This Is Wrong

Being this far along in life, you still can’t make peace with the abuse you went through as a child. But you’re not alone in this; only 16% male victims have ever really reported being sexually abused.

Here’s another eye opening statistic; one in 71 men experience sexual abuse in their lifetime, while one in six boys may experience it before they turn 18. In fact, one in 33 American men go through this horrific trauma.

But now that you’ve ignored it for so many years and are way ahead in life, it’s finally beginning to catch up. After all, research has shown that, yes, you can intentionally forget about or repress a traumatic experience, but your brain will require constant training to do so.

This is easier when you’re young and dynamic, but now, later in life – not so much. You should know that you can always do something about it and that there is no need to keep living with such feelings alone.

Whether it is talking to your significant other or a therapist or even confronting those responsible for your trauma through legal action – you can finally find peace.

This article discusses the reasons you may have hid your suffering, but, more importantly, it presents some compelling reasons why you should come forward.

Why You Didn’t Report?

The horror of what you have experienced is difficult to put into words – feelings of shame, anger, betrayal, and even misplaced guilt have likely shaped your life in profoundly negative ways.

You have perhaps feared being ridiculed, shamed, or falsely accused of weakness, when in reality you were a helpless child who did absolutely nothing wrong.

Our society has a false view that you – men – are somehow less vulnerable to sexual assault. Men are typically the aggressors in all sexual assaults, so it’s even more difficult for male victims to come forward. There are even studies that suggest males abused as children are more likely to grow up and become perpetrators themselves. In short, victims like you are pressured from all sides into ‘growing up’ and ‘becoming a man’ – this leaves no room for you to report such a heinous crime.

Why “Not” Reporting Was Wrong

Having lived your life and being where you are now, we’re sure that you know the effect of not reporting such abuse.

You hid it and you suffered in silence for years, perhaps even successfully repressing the memories for periods of time. But incidents like sexual abuse find a way to pierce through the thick wall you’ve created around yourself time and again.

The physiological, psychological, or even behavioral distress you have faced alone over the years can be reduced. You are not alone and you need not have suffered alone. Fighting for your own justice with help from professionals could have been a way to find some peace.

We know it would have taken a perhaps unreasonable amount of courage and strength to come forward at a young age. But it might have given you a fighting chance to save yourself from problems such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, etc. It could have even put a stop to – or at least reduced – all those sleepless nights, invasive thoughts, depressive mood swings and the anxiety you still likely slide into. The good news is that it is never too late.

Take A Step Today!

It’s never too late to take action. By taking action to seek justice for yourself, even many years after the events, you are also standing up for all the young boys who are undergoing the same trauma and cycle of sexual abuse today that you suffered all those years ago. You are also standing up for all of the men in the same age demographic as you who still suffer because they fear coming out and talking about their experiences.

By coming forward, we admit that you will have to actively re-live those memories and narrate them to different people.

If you were abused, even if it was many years ago, or if there was an organization that allowed your abuse to happen, then contact us today. Let us represent you and help you take a step to liberate yourself from the grip of your past.

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Josh Gillispie