Teaching Children How to Recognize Unsafe Situations: A Guide for Parents Who Want to Keep Their Kids Safe

There’s a moment every parent dreads: the quiet gut feeling that something might be wrong—but your child isn’t saying much. Maybe they came home acting strange after a sleepover. Maybe they’ve grown unusually quiet around a certain adult. Or maybe you just know—deep down—that it’s time to start having the hard conversations.

I’ve sat across from too many parents who wished they’d started sooner. Not because they were careless, but because no one ever handed them a guide. That ends here. Let’s talk about how we teach our children to recognize unsafe situations—before anything happens.

Why This Matters More Than Ever

I live and work in Little Rock, Arkansas, and let me tell you—this isn’t just a “big city” issue. It’s a statewide crisis hiding in plain sight. The scars of childhood sexual abuse don’t fade easily, and they don’t just haunt the victims. They ripple through entire families.

If you haven’t yet, I recommend reading Arkansas’ Silent Epidemic. It paints a clear picture of what we’re up against.

That’s why these talks aren’t optional. They’re armor. And it’s our job to make sure our kids are wearing it.

How Do I Teach My Child About Body Safety?

Start early. I’m talking toddler age. Don’t wait until something feels off—make this part of your normal conversations, like brushing teeth or crossing the street.

Here’s what I’ve found works at different stages:

Ages 2–5: Keep It Simple and Clear

Teach them the proper names for their body parts. Call them what they are. That alone builds body confidence and removes secrecy. Use language like, “No one is allowed to touch your private parts. If they try, you can say no, leave, and tell me.”

Use play scenarios with dolls or action figures to act things out. Make it safe. Make it normal.

Ages 6–9: Talk About Secrets and Gut Feelings

At this age, kids can start to understand more nuance. I tell parents to explain the difference between safe secrets (like a birthday surprise) and unsafe secrets (when someone tells you not to tell your parents).

Also—introduce the idea of “uh-oh feelings.” That little voice inside when something doesn’t feel quite right? That’s their internal alarm. Teach them to trust it, not override it to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.

Ages 10–14: Respect and Boundaries

Now we’re talking about peer pressure, internet safety, and romantic interest. The focus shifts slightly—from protecting the body to protecting choices and personal boundaries.

Reinforce this: “You never owe anyone physical affection. Not a friend, not a coach, not even a family member.”

If you’re not sure how to open the door at this stage, take a look at How Parents Can Help Their Child Recover from Sexual Abuse—it gives you a good foundation even if your child hasn’t gone through something traumatic.

What Are Unsafe Situations for Children?

Unsafe situations don’t always come with flashing warning signs. Sometimes they show up as a “cool” neighbor who always wants to be alone with your kid. Other times, it’s an adult who asks a child to keep a secret, or who gives them special gifts “just because.”

Let me break down a few red flags that parents often overlook:

• An adult insists on one-on-one time with your child, and it’s not for a clear reason (like tutoring).
• Physical affection is forced or expected, even if the child pulls away or looks uncomfortable.
• An adult asks a child to keep secrets—especially ones that involve private parts, photos, or private meetings.
• Your child changes their behavior after spending time with someone—suddenly anxious, quiet, or clingy.
• You’re told your child has been “acting out” sexually or saying things they shouldn’t know.

Are all of these guaranteed signs of abuse? No. But they’re worth paying attention to. Trust your instincts—and teach your child to do the same.

How Can Kids Recognize Dangerous People?

Here’s a hard truth: it’s rarely a stranger in a van. The whole “stranger danger” idea gives kids the wrong impression—most abuse comes from people they already know.

Instead of saying “don’t talk to strangers,” I say this:

“Pay attention to how people make you feel. If someone makes you uncomfortable, even if they’re nice, even if you know them, that’s enough.”

Kids need to understand that danger doesn’t wear a costume. It can look like a trusted adult. It can act like a friend. But if that person crosses a line—even a small one—they’re not safe.

How to Talk to Kids About Safety (Without Making It Weird)

You don’t have to sit your kid down like you’re delivering a corporate presentation. These conversations work best when they happen during everyday moments—buckling them into the car seat, cooking dinner, or folding laundry.

Here are a few phrases you can sprinkle into conversation:

• “Your body belongs to you. No one can touch it without permission.”
• “If anyone ever makes you feel uncomfortable, you can tell me—even if they say not to.”
• “You won’t get in trouble for telling me something. I’ll believe you, and we’ll figure it out together.”

Make your home a safe landing place. If you act weird or uncomfortable, they’ll pick up on it. But if you stay calm, open, and curious, they’ll know they can come to you with anything.

Teach Them to Trust Their Gut

Every child has an internal compass—we just have to help them read it.

Tell your kids this: “If you ever feel that ‘uh-oh’ feeling, it’s real. You don’t have to explain it. You don’t have to make it make sense. Just tell me.”

If Your Child Comes to You

When a child speaks up, how you respond can shape everything that follows.

You don’t need to have the perfect words. You just need to be present.

Here’s what I suggest:

• Stay calm. Don’t panic or press for details.
• Say: “Thank you for telling me. I believe you.”
• Let them set the pace. Some will want to talk. Others won’t. That’s okay.
• Get help from professionals—therapists, advocates, and yes, lawyers when needed.

You never have to go through this alone. This blog on helping kids recover after sexual abuse is a good place to start.

One Final Thought

If you’ve read this far, it means you’re the kind of parent who shows up. That alone puts your child ahead of the curve.

This work—teaching kids about boundaries, danger, and safety—it’s not one conversation. It’s a series of them. Quiet ones. Awkward ones. Sometimes loud ones. But they matter.

And if something ever feels off, if someone crosses a line, or if your child says something that sends that shiver down your spine, reach out. You don’t have to have all the answers before you talk to someone who can help. That’s what we’re here for.